the holiday rush

 Today is the 4th day of the 50th week, the 10th day of the 12th month, the 344th day of 2025 [you have two weeks left for Christmas shopping], and:

• Dewey Decimal System Day - how to say you're old without mentioning your age - remember looking up what you needed in the card catalog and then searching the stacks, hoping you memorized the number correctly?
• Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales
• Human Rights Day
• International Animal Rights Day
• International Traffic Light Day - for those signals that are non-electric
• Jane Addams Day 
• National Lager Day
• Nobel Prize Day 
• World Aszu' Day - an Hungarian sweet wine that has been produced for at least 450 years  
• and Voyager 1 is currently ~23h 32m 36s of light travel time from Earth

Quote of the day:

"We’re told that you can’t change what happened in the past, but you can change how you frame it. And we’re offered a range of different lenses: acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude."
~  Noelle Oxenhandler, “What Is the Shape of My Life?”

This year has been difficult for the family

Exactly one year ago, my son rolled into town for a week's stay.  He stayed with me, and we saw my daughter pretty much every day.  We had a great visit - talking, crying, laughing, just being together.  Unfortunately, despite being masked on the trip, he contracted COVID and was convalescent for part, but not all, of his visit.  There were severe repercussions for him as he battled lung fluid for the next six weeks.  His sister managed to stay healthy, but I came down with what was fortunately a mild case.

It wasn't the last time we saw him, but the next couple of visits were emergency trips to Nashville and he was in the hospital, then in hospice - altho I took a couple pictures of him, it wasn't exactly an ideal time for a group shot.  So, this is the last picture I will ever have of my kids together.  

When Tommy went into the Navy back in 1991, he promised that every Christmas Eve when he couldn't be home, that around midnight, he would look up at the stars and sing one of his favorite songs - "I'll be Home for Christmas" - and I promised to do the same.   When he could, he called me late on Christmas Eve and we sang it together - and we did that for 33 years.  

In April, as tensions increased in her marriage, my daughter decided to get a new car.  Her Lexus had been totalled a couple years back by her husband, but she couldn't afford to get another.  She also wasn't comfortable driving with all her medical issues and they were a one-car family until she decided she needed the independence of her own wheels.  So she went to Carvana and here she is putting in the token to get her new wheels from the carousel.   

Unfortunately, my son-in-law decided that he didn't want to work on saving the marriage, stopped their marriage counseling, and insisted on a divorce.  On top of dealing with the loss of her brother, she has this to cope with.l  She is moving on the weekend before Christmas  to her own apartment, and the holidays are more than a little chaotic for us all.

Needless to say this has had a negative impact on the grandkids.  In addition the oldest has been officially diagnosed as autistic and the younger is struggling with suicidal thoughts.  Everyone is in therapy and working things out the best that they can 

Lucky Bear has been busy and done a lot of traveling - he's home with me at the moment.  The members of the Tribe left in Nashville have struggled with illnesses, surgery, their loss of their roommate/adopted sibling, family dramas, and the loss of one of their feline family.  My daughter and I do what we can long distance and I went down there in September for a visit.  We both plan to be there this next year to visit, and of course, we will see them when the ashes are taken to the sea.

As for me:  In work matters - February I had an intense disagreement over processes and he felt it necessary to punish me by taking away my direct report, and in June I marked my 16th work anniversary.  In family matters - I try to be supportive of all of them [except my soon to be ex-son-in-law who hasn't had much to say to me]; unfortunately my son died without a will and we weren't even able to get an estate opened until last week;  and in good news, my step-daughter is in love with a really good man [even if he does vote for the wrong people] who is a great addition to the family.  She is also really taking the lead in seeing that we all stay in touch and see each other regularly.  In health matters - I have taken to using a walker when I have to do a lot of walking because it keeps my back from aching so much; the numbness in both of my legs finally progressed to the point [it's over my knees now] that the endocrinologist recommended I see a neurologist;  in October I underwent a MOHS procedure to remove a cancerous Basal cell and in November the 3" hole in my scalp was closed by a plastic surgeon.  Oh and I smashed my face into a brick wall and had to get new glasses.  

Oddly when I started writing, it was to tell the story of the song that we sang for 33 years to explain why I tear up whenever I hear it, but then it went and turned into a screed about 2025.  There is much to be thankful for - Tommy's no longer in pain, I still have a job, the new apartment is in the same school district as the house, the grief is being managed, and Tiscuit is still with me [altho she does savage her back with over-grooming when left alone too much]. 

I guess the best way to sum it all up for the year is to repeat one of those sayings I always said to my kids:  

"Life is not fair, cope."