Catching up Thursday

 Today is the 5th day of the 51st week, the 19th day of the 12th month, the 354th day of 2024, and:

  • Holly Day
  • Look for an Evergreen Day
  • National Emo Day
  • National Hard Candy Day
  • National Oatmeal Muffin Day
  • National Regifting Day
  • ST Nicholas Day

Quote of the day:
"Don't let the past steal your present.  This is the message of Christmas:  We are never alone."
~ Taylor Caldwell - a prolific writer, AKA Marcus Holland, Max Reiner, and J Miriam Reback 


beladona turned 19 this year, and I was struck by the similarity in poses between her birthday picture and that "after" shot of me after my cut 'n color.    When I created my avatar, I deliberately tried to make her look like me although a younger version.  Of course, through the years she ended up far slimmer and taller [otherwise folks would think I was RPing a child avi] than I am, fulfilling my fantasies of luxuriant locks and being able to prance around in high heels still.  

This holiday season has been poignant thus far.

My son came home to visit last week - that's why I have been so quiet.   He was here an entire week, and we didn't really DO anything, just visited and spent time with my daughter.  He was ill a couple of days, and exhausted most of the rest of the time.  We had some hard conversations about the fact the future is limited with metastasized stage 4C cancer, what our visions of the afterlife looked like, what would happen with future treatments.  You see, after his heart and lung problems in the late spring, there has been a six month hiatus in treatments for him.  There is a "three strikes" type of limit to the treatments, and he has had two, so this next course of treatment will be it for him - afterwards there is only palliative care.   This next course of doses is liable to be extreme grueling, to put it mildly, and the likelihood is that this was is last trip here.  He was very relieved to go home again, and we managed not to cry until he was gone.  

Monday, the day my son left, was the 20th anniversary of Frank's death.  Frank and I came together in 1985, and the passing of next year will mark a time where I have been without Frank for as long as I was with him, and that takes some processing.  

Both my son and my daughter were very pleased with the new digs from the security and maintenance to the actual apartment and management.  They keep telling me that I will be able to live there as long as I want to and I keep worrying about the annual rent increases plus the usual threats.  You know, loss of health or mobility that causes the job to go away, and now I get to worry about losing Social Security and my 401K too thanks to the economic juggernaut that is bearing down on us, starting with the prospect of a government shutdown tomorrow night because the richest man in the world doesn't think going without a functioning federal government for 33 days would be a problem.  

And I picked up a horrendous cold - first really bad one I've had in years.  I didn't come into the office yesterday because I refused to spread my germs to everyone, but I came in to day because it is just me and bossman on Thursdays.

And said bossman informed me today that he's taking off the day after Christmas.  Oh, and I cannot work from home that day because he doesn't want the office empty.  

Oh it isn't really bad, I don't mean to make it sounds like all I am doing is sitting around and crying, far from it.  There has been a lot of family, a lot of laughter, a lot of good food.  The apartment is fully decorated and I think it looks rather nice.  There just is this sense of time slipping away and clouds looming on the horizon that haunts the air like a whiff of fading scent.

Tomorrow I get to work from home.  Saturday will be devoted to wrapping presents.  In the evening the property is hosting a live concert by the Baltimore Klezmer Orchestra at 7:30 PM and I would like to go to that.  The first Christmas celebration will be on Sunday at 10 AM as Frank's daughter and grandson with her inamorata come over to my daughter's to exchange gifts with us

Then it's Christmas week!  The kids are ecstatic that they get TWO weeks off this year instead of just the week between Christmas and New Years    

It really is a lovely time as the year winds down, neh?  But endings can be poignant.....

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