day 271 - last September day in the office

 Today is the 5th day of the 39th week, the 28th day of the 9th month, the 271st day of 2023, and:

• British Home Child Day
• Confucius Day
• Fish Tank Floorshow Night
• Gold LIning Day
• International Day for Universal Access to Information 
• International Right to KNow Day
• National Drink Beer Day
• National Good Neighbor Day
• National North Carolina Day
• National Strawberry Cream Pie Day
• Read a Child a Book You Like Day
• Remember Me Thursday
• World Maritime Day
• World Rabies Day
• and Voyager 1 is 22h 22m 48s of light travel time from Earth 

Quote of the day:

"Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."

~ Terry Pratchett, English humorist, satirist, and author of fantasy novels

Today I read an article about why "mattering" is important  and it struck a chord with me.  When asked what goal I had in life, my answer from as far back as my memory reaches has consistently been:  "when I am gone, I want to know there is a Carol-sized hole in people's lives".  I've phrased it in different ways at different times as "I want to make a difference"  or "I don't want to be a cog in the wheel," or even saying "I want to matter", but it has always meant the same thing to me.  I have never been the type of person who wants to be a leader, I prefer being an able follower who enables the vision that I perceive, and exemplary followership is a very underrated skill set.   Being a follower tends to be dismissed as being passive or lacking ambition, and neither of that is necessarily true, but it does mean that you tend to fade into the shadows.  That I am okay with, as long as what I do matters.  

But how do you know if you matter or not?  One sociologist measures that with questions to ask yourself: 

Awareness: Do people pay attention to you or walk right by you?

Importance: Do you have people who take a real interest in your well-being?

Reliance: Are there people who would come to you for help, support or advice?

How you answer those questions can determine your state of mind or whether or not you are wounded in spirit, neh?   It determines how confident you are, not only with others, but when you see yourself in the mirror and gaze into your own eyes.

https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap230928.html

Another word sometimes used instead of "mattering" is "significance"  which I interpret as the ability to have influence or effect to some degree.  I think one of the hardest lessons to learn when growing up is that not only is most of  your immediate surroundings, the world, and the universe are well beyond not the circle of one's control.  That one is bad enough, but then you have to accept even your immediate surroundings may be totally out of your sphere of influence.  

It's a real shock, after being so anxious to grow up and set the rules for ourselves,  to find out that adults do indeed get told what to do and when to do it, isn't it?  

We may all be made of star stuff,  but I think a lot of us find ourselves singing "hello darkness my old friend...." when we try to figure out if we matter at all.