Day 210 - baby it's hot

Today is the 7th day of the 30th week, the 29th day of the 7th month, the 210th day of 2023, and:

• Army Chaplain Corps Anniversary
• Lasagna Day
• International Butler Day
• International Decora Day
• International Tiger Day
• Mohon Bagan Day
• National Cheese Sacrifice Purchase Day
• National Chicken Wing Day
• National Lasagna Day
• National Lipstick Day
• National Water Gun Fight Day
• Ólavsøka or Olsok, opening of the Løgting session. 
• Paddle for the Perthes Disease Awareness Day
• Rain Day - because back in the mid 1800's, it always rained on Caleb Ely's birthday.  

Quote of the day:

"Patience is key to your mental health when you are physically ill. It is one of the few virtues you can actively cultivate when your body ceases to cooperate."
~ Shozen Jack Haubner, “Expiration Date”

Later, from the same article, he says of his illness:  "When you don’t know why you got sick, just about anything can be the cure, and you never really know if you’re finally getting better. You go round and round in circles, taking medicine that produces side effects which you imagine to be a new manifestation of the enigmatic illness, so you take another type of medicine, which produces more and different side effects, and what began as a simple pain in your side becomes a spiraling descent into the blackness at the core of your being. Exhaustion becomes depression, and depression becomes despair."  

There are two times in my life when I have gotten sick and started spiraling downwards,  The first time was 14 years ago and I kept getting sicker and sicker despite doing everything the doctor told me to do,  My daughter stepped in, took me to a different doctor, and it turned out I had a case of MRSA that had been allowed to rage unchecked for nine months due to a misdiagnosis, and had also become one of those who has to deal with Diabetes II.  And ever since the severe allergic reaction to Ozempic last August, after six months of progress [the GP's diagnosis of over-hydration resolved the skin rashes and the low magnesium levels that were causing leg cramps, and the inhaler prescribed by the pulmonologist did soothe the inflammation of the lungs caused by the reaction, and my blood oxygen levels have improved], nothing the medical profession does seems to be working - I remain fatigued, short of breath, and subject to these 'strange chilling feelings'.

So, I go from specialist to specialist to find the causes of the edema, the low sodium count and my symptoms, I find myself being very self-critical and asking myself if this is self-inflicted, if this is my fault - which does indeed put me in a rather dark place, and I am struggling with that on top of feeling sick and tired.  I don't want to be depressed, thank you very much!  

So, what has pushed me over the edge from being able to deal with my recalcitrant body today?  Age?  nothing I can do about that.  My sedentary lifestyle catching up with me?  possibly - in the past four years I have become less active, especially of late - it is, after all, hard to do anything when you run out of breath just starting!  

But, that would seem to be somewhat within the realm of my control and I have been actually trying to increase moving around - I have to think seriously about how to ease into more activity while so short-winded.  And that is tied to my weight as well - when I went through [and even taught] Diet Workshop, I learned I have one of those low metabolisms that means dieting is below 1000 calories a day while maintaining is less than 1500 [and that was back when I was in my 40's and very active].  My metabolism is not within the realm of my control, but I can cut down on my portions for a start and try to ignore my appetite.

And try not to stew when it is hot outside and there are A/C issues again. 

Summer was never my favorite time of year.  Never been a beach person, I burn and blister in the sun, I don't like dripping with sweat, and I cannot sleep in a hot room.