Week 5 - Prayer of Tears

DAY  - PRAYER OF TEARS

 Key Idea: Tears can become prayer when they are brought honestly into the presence of God.

The Prayer of Tears as part of the inward movement because tears often reveal what is happening deep within us. They show us what we love, what we regret, what we fear, what we have lost, and what we still hope God will heal.

Pray slowly:

Lord, have mercy.
Receive what I cannot fix.
Receive what I cannot explain.
Receive what I cannot carry alone.
Amen.

Day 1 Reflection

What kinds of sadness do I usually bring to God?

The questions - the why, the what can I do, the despair, the doubt

What kinds of sadness do I usually avoid?

the anger, the reproaches, the bitterness, the resentment, the depression, the unbelief

Do I tend to see tears as weakness, honesty, or prayer?

He already knows the rebellion and the hurt

He knows I feel the need for consolation and relief from anxiety 

What might my tears be trying to tell me?

What strength I had or thought I had is eroding and I can't help the ones I love

but the hits just keep on coming and I don't know what He wants from me 

DAY 2:  FAILURE AND SIN

Where have you created brokenness? 

I failed in compassion and in faithfulness

Have you brought that to God for both forgiveness and healing? 

I have confessed, but I don't feel absolved

Are you asking for healing for yourself and others?

Today for myself

Pray Psalm 51:10 slowly:

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

and renew a right spirit within me.

Then add your own sentence:

God, the place in me that needs mercy today is my unworthiness

Reflections:

What phrase from Psalm 51 feels most honest to me?

"I have done what is evil in your sight.

You will be proved right in what you say,

    and your judgment against me is just"

Where do I need mercy rather than excuses?

Where do I need restoration rather than shame?

In Jesus Christ Superstar, as Judas tries to justify to himself [and the audience] for his betrayal of Christ, he sings "just don't say that I am damned for all time"  [the song is called Blood Money and is reprised in towards the end]

What would it mean to let God meet me tenderly in repentance?

Am I like Judas and just afraid of facing the consequences I deserve?

Or have I truly repented?  Some days I don't know.....

How do I know how God sees me?

DAY 3 - SORROW

Here is Richard Foster's "Praying through Chronic Pain"  Read it carefully and listen to the thoughts and openness:

 O Lord my god i do not ask for the pain to go away. I've prayed that prayer a thousand time over, and the pain remains with me. But I'm not angry about it. I'm not even disappointed anymore. I've come to terms with my pain. NO, my prayer is more basic, much more simple. I ask, O God, for help in getting through this day. It's difficult because I've lost the ability to care. God, what's hardest of all is that no one understands my experience, and when they doubt my experience, they doubt me. And their doubts make me doubt myself, and when I doubt myself, it is hard to get through the day. Meaning has long since fled my life. What purpose is there in all this pain? Why am I here on earth? What am I supposed to do with this life? I don't know who I am anymore, but whoever I am, O Lord, you know that I am Thine. Amen.

(Foster, Prayers from the Heart)

Reflect: What did you learn from this prayer?   

despite the pain, the disappointment, the questioning, Foster still dedicates his existence to God   

Set aside 5–10 minutes. Sit quietly with God and name one sorrow.

Pray:

God, this is what hurts: ________.  My friend of 70 years is dying.

I bring it to you.

I do not know how to heal it.

I do not know how to carry it.

Lord, have mercy.

Stay silent for one minute.

Reflection:

1. Sit quietly for a minute

2. Ask yourself:  Is there a hurt in my life that I have avoided, that still needs healing, or that I have never honestly shared with God?

3. Listen

4. Respond with prayer

DAY 4 - TOO MUCH

This week also touches the Prayer of the Forsaken--a similar kind of prayer. Sometimes our tears come from the feeling that God is distant or silent. Scripture gives us permission to pray even that.

Pray slowly:

God, I am afraid to bring you ________.  my resentment as the hits just keep on coming
I do not know what will happen if I open this place.
Meet me gently.
Hold what I cannot hold.
Lord, have mercy.

Reflection Questions:

What makes this kind of prayer uncomfortable for me?

it makes me sound petulant and ungrateful for what I have been given.  I taught my kids that life was not fair, why do I pretend it should be?

What sorrow have I tried to manage instead of pray?

the fatigue and resentment

Where have I confused strength with silence?

What would I say to God if I trusted that my tears would be received?

I knew Bonita for 70 years - we met on the first day of 1st grade.  We weren't besties, we didn't talk every day, but I wa always there for her and she for me.  She was a believer, but scared as the end approached - where was the consolation for her?

DAY 5 - TOWARDS HEALING

What did I learn this week about sorrow and prayer?

Did this prayer make me feel more honest, more tender, or more resistant?

He let me know that it was not my duty to go to NM and say goodbye, that I had indeed done enough, and that was a great comfort.  

Where might God be turning sorrow into compassion?

Now to try and help her grieving husband of 48 years

What simple mercy prayer can I carry forward?

Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.