feeling salty

 Today is he 6th day of the 36th week, the 5th day of the 9th month, the 248th day of 2024 [with only 110 shopping days until Christmas] and:

• Ants on a Log Day
• Bring Your Manners to Work Day
• Care Bears Share Your Care Day - celebrated since 2015, it is a day to share what you have and help others
• Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders Day
• International Box Wine Day
• International Buy a Priest a Beer Day
• International Day of Charity
• International Day to Protect Education from Attack
• National 401(k) Day
• National Be Late for Something Day
• National Cheese Pizza Day
• National Chianti Day
• National Food Bank Day
• National Lazy Mom's Day
• National Shrink Day
• National Teddy Bear Day
• Opposite Day - Do the Opposite of What You Normally Do.  According to SpongeBob Squarepants, breathing and living etc are exceptions to that
• Wear Teal Day
• World Samosa Day
• Wonderful Weirdoes Day
• And after launching on this day in 1977, Voyager 1 is ~23h 17m 41s of light travel time from Earth 

Quote of the day:

"Nobody likes having salt rubbed into their wounds, even if it is the salt of the earth."

~ Rebecca West - AKA Dame Cecily Isabel Fairfield, British author, journalist, literary critic, and travel writer

Picture of the day:

This is Bay of Fires, Tasmania courtesy of the Bing Wallpaper of the Day on 08.26.2025.  

I had saved it, fulling intending to write but obviously didn't.  And this will be the last Bing picture - IT disabled the app for security reasons and I never use it at home because I don't like about 50% of the screenshots

And why haven't I been blogging?

To be honest, it's the same reason I haven't been calling friends or talking much at work - I feel like a verbal doom scroll and no one wants a constant whiner about.  

 Work has been a PITA.  We now have more employees than we ever have had - three loan officers [one is bossman], five people in the credit department [a manager, three analysts, and a Loan Admin], and one Loan servicing person [me].  I feel devalued, taken for granted, and expendable, things I have felt ever since the confrontation with bossman in the spring that went so sour.  But even tho I am a bit disgruntled, I hope to keep working because without regular pay check, I cannot afford rent and food - the 401k and Social Security aren't going to cut it for very long, especially if I really plan to live to 100

The family is struggling and it breaks my heart that I cannot help them

Altho I am not at all looking forward to it, I am returning to Nashville in a couple of weeks to see if I can help the two guys deal with the loss of Tommy.  In so many ways, his demise has been toughest for them because it is a hole in their everyday routine that stubbornly refuses to heal over.  By going down, I'm trying to reassure them that they really are family, help grieve with them, and hopefully convince them that turning his room into a shrine really isn't a good idea by starting to go through his things.

My daughter is taking care of settling Tommy's estate and soldiering through her days.  She is getting the kids up and out to school while trying to manage their dysfunctions.  Her pain levels are constant and she has to deal with intense flareups that leave her bedridden for the day.  Over all of this, she is dealing with an ugly fractious marital relationship and grieving for the loss of her brother.    

Triscuit is still overgrooming - I keep hoping that it was just nerves as it got so bad while I was away so much but I foresee a trip to the vet soon.  That is weighing me down too because catching her and putting her in the carrier is so hard, and getting medication down her all but impossible.  

Me?  I'm just tired and my spirit feels weighed down.  My mobility is not good and I am slightly ashamed that when I have to walk far, I do better with a walker and when I fly, I use the wheelchair service.  I hate feeling fragile!  I keep trying to increase my stamina, but struggle to stay on a consistent schedule of exercise.

I'm spending too much on retail therapy or Christmas, eating by delivery, and my second life.  Everything seems so expensive, and when I should be saving, I've got an attitude of "might as well do it now while I still can".   I want to travel out to New Mexico to visit my friends, but am out of leave for this year.  And I have to have help with annoyingly little things.  I went to hang a picture on the wall and as I balanced on the bed, got so wobbly that I stopped and climbed back down.  I have the pictures here, and the ones I want to put up in the hallway that are too high for me to reach easily, and will have to hire someone from TaskRabbit to do it.  

And the country is going to hell in a handbasket.

On the other hand:

I've been in this apartment for a year now, and it has become home.  The place is not perfect - the rent is high, there are the usual security concerns when the garage and doors are left open [for after office hour moves/deliveries], and some large-ticket maintenance is being deferred [the greenhouse was damaged in a storm in early spring and has not been rebuilt, the hot tub stopped working in August and was not repaired, and the pool railing's wrapping split and was not replaced], but on the whole things are working smoothly.  The office staff is knowledgeable, the maintenance staff responsive, and the neighbors friendly 

Tomorrow I have tickets to go see Hamilton at the movie matinee.  Of course I saw the Disney+ showing on TV but I've always been a bit salty over not being able to see the play, so seeing it on the big screen will have to suffice.  The fact that I can just walk over to the theater and the mall is definitely another perk of where I live.  If I feel like it after eating popcorn,  I might stroll on over to Uncle Julio's and have dinner, complete with their freshly-made guacamole.

Sunday is church with the family - the summer schedule is over so that means a 6 AM alarm to get to the early service with the kids, and after that a special fellowship gathering in the community hall.  Then the oldest grandkid is coming home with me and we are working on their memory bear kit.   

It was a short work week, today is Friday, and a fun weekend looms without a lot of pending chores, so there's that.  

Life goes on.