weighed down....

 Today is the 2nd day of the 33rd week, the 11th day of the 8th month, the 223rd day of 2025 [with only 135 shopping days until Christmas], and:

• Annual Medical Checkup Day
• Global Kinetic Sand Day
• Independence Day - Chad from France in 1960
• Ingersoll Day - based on the birthday of Robert G Ingersoll [born in 1833] and hailed as a day to challenge entrenched beliefs, celebrate free thought and reason, and encourage critical thinking 
• National Align Your Teeth Day
• National Hip Hop Day
• National Panini Day
• National Raspberry Bombe Day
• National Raspberry Tarte Day
• Play in the Sand Day
• Popsicle Day
• Presidential Joke Day
• Son and Daughter Day
• Victory Day
• World Steelpan Day
• the moon is waning gibbous
• and Voyager 1 is ~23h 12m 53s of light travel time from Earth

Quote of the day:
"Act as if what you do makes a difference.  It does."

~  William James - American philosopher and psychologist

When Grandmom Hughes died back in 1985, I mourned and missed her very much - it was over a year before I started singing around the house again [except I never stopped singing with and to my kids].  

In 2004, just nine days before Christmas, Frank dropped dead at work.  Just like that, I went from wife and caregiver to a widow, living alone for the first time in my life.  It was a huge transition, marked with sorrow and regrets, and it took a long time before things really felt normal again.  

Grief was no stranger then, and I thought I was braced for the loss of my son.  After all, once the cancer had metastasized to his lungs, there was little hope that he would survive, and we watched with dismay and acceptance as he sickened these past months.

But I don't remember feeling so heavy, so dragged down, in spirit in the past.   I do remember being very quiet, but I don't remember trying to avoid people, even those I love.  Is it because I am so much older?  I'm not the first mother to outlive a child, but is it because it goes against the natural order for a parent to do so?

The GP prescribed Wellbutrin to help relieve some of the weight and to help me focus.  I took my first dose [of course Medicare only pays for the generic version which may not have their "timed release" delivery system] today.  We'll see if this helps or not.

In other news, it has been a typical Monday; at least I got to work from home.  Tomorrow I have to go into the office.

Triscuit figured she sees me sitting there often enough, so it must be comfortable, neh?