Polecat's Arcade

 Today is the 4th day of the 28th week, the 9th day of the 7th month, the 190th day of 2025, and:

• Bald is In Day
• Call of the Horizon Day
• Dead Head Day - for the Grateful Dead fans
• Fashion Day
• Independence Day - the United Provinces of South America from Spain in 1816 and South Sudan from Sudan in 2011
• Martyrdom of the Báb
• National Dimples Day
• National Don't Put All Your Eggs in One Omelet Day
• National No Bra Day
• National Sugar Cookie Day 

Quote of the day:
"Maybe we think that nirvana is a place where there are no problems, no more delusions. Maybe we think nirvana is something very beautiful, something unattainable. We always think nirvana is something very different from our own life. But we must really understand that it is right here, right now."
~  Maezumi Roshi, “Appreciate Your Life”

My son knew he was dying.  He had a premonition a couple months back before the first seizure in March [when cancerous tumors were found in his brain] that he described as a feeling that something big was coming.  Tommy described the sensation as walking next to the train tracks, and feeling them start to vibrate, signalling that the train was on the way.  Maybe he was influenced in his choice of analogy by the sound of the train whistles he could hear now and then from his room, especially at night when all else was quiet

He and I talked a lot about the door, that door that we all must pass through at the end, and what lies beyond or even if anything at all awaits us, and he shared that he had a dream where he woke up and was on the Boardwalk.  Not just any generic Boardwalk, but in Ocean City NJ where we used to vacation for the last two weeks of summer every year for the ten years I was with my second husband.  As we talked during the last two times Tommy made it back home to Maryland, it turns out both of my kids remember those vacations vividly for the things I used to do to make them fun and different - and they remember the junk food odysseys very clearly....

My ex and his parents did not believe vacation was for running around, it was for rest and relaxation, os if the kids were going to go out, it was up to me.  I took them to the pool, to the beach, for long walks on the Boardwalk [which included shopping - each kid got $2 to spend - and time in the arcades.  How we laughed about Dirk the Jerk and Daphne the Dumb, as we christened the very popular Dragon's Lair characters], to story hours at the local library, and once every trip, the afternoon was spent just walking along and buying then eating everything single thing we wanted - funnel cake, french fries, peanut butter fudge,  soft ice cream swirls, and ending up with a huge bucket of caramel popcorn.  Fishers always asked lid on or off, and if you chose off, then the caramel popcorn was heaped high.  We would eat it down and put the lid on, and take it back to the condo for the rest of the family.  

When Tommy and I started talking seriously about what lies beyond this life in March, while he was in the hospital after his first seizure , he shared a dream that he had.  In his dream, he saw a door, and when he walked through it, it was like he woke up and found himself sitting on a bench on the Boardwalk.  The sun was rising, the salt breeze was blowing, the seagulls were wheeling about and crying, the smells of all the fun things to eat were wafting in the air.  He said he sat there for a bit, then got up and ambled over to the Simms arcade.  It was shuttered and apparently abandoned. 

In the hospice, when we talked, he said that he wanted to open it back up and set to work renovating it with all the old games that he loved so much.  Tommy went into great detail about all the different rooms he wanted to expand into, including a billiards room so that a very much younger Frank could come with his motorcycle buddies and hang out with him.  His face brightened and he discussed the Arcade with all the enthusiasm he used to use when talking about his art, or his writing, or a cool game he had discovered.

I don't know what awaits us when we go through that door, but I do know that Tommy's vision brought him comfort and lessened the fear of the unknown.  And in the wee hours of June 26th, I got the text from Bryan: "Tommy is at the Boardwalk"

Gem found online three Simms Arcade game tokens from 1982 - his two roommates and she now have them.  

And we will take my son's ashes and give them their final resting place in the waters off the coast of Ocean City NJ