It isn't easy to let go

 Today is the 3rd day of the 28th week, the 8th day of the 7th month, the 189th day of 2025, and:

• Be a Kid Again Day - I am so tired of trying to be an adult...
• Coca Cola Day - the actual date when it was invented is unknown, but this is the birthday of the inventor
• Cow Appreciation Day
• Math 2.0 Day
• National Blueberry Day
• National Freezer Pop Day
• National Ice Cream Sundae Day
• National Milk Chocolate with Almonds Day
• National Raspberry Day
• National Video Game Day
• SCUD Day - AKA Savor the Comic, Unplug the Drama Day 
• and Voyager 1 is ~23h 07m 20s of light travel time from Earth

Quote of the day:
"The heart that has truly loved never forgets, But as truly loves on to the close."
~  Thomas Moore, venerated in the Catholic Church as Saint Thomas More, was an English lawyer, judge,social philosopher, author, statesman, theologian, and noted Renaissance humanist.

Today's picture courtesy, of the Bing daily wallpaper, is of Cap Méchant, Réunion. 

Réunionese locals call the island's southeast coast 'le Sud sauvage,' or the Wild South, for not only its remoteness but the incredible forces of nature evident here.

Tommy and I talked so much those days I stayed with him in the hospice.  We talked a lot about the past, we talked about what lies beyond, we cried together, and yes, we indulged in morbid humor and managed to laugh as well.  

He asked each one of us [me, Gem, Chris, and Bryan] more than once the same two questions - were we disappointed that he was giving up the fight for life?  was it okay if he left?  And each of us reassured him that no, we didn't think the less of him for being ready to go, and yes, if the door through which we all must pass, opened before him, he was to go without hesitation or regret.  It was so important that he know, and really believe, that he had permission to leave, that we didn't want him to try and hold on and that we wouldn't cling to him.

Gem had to go home on Tuesday, returning to her kids.  I chose to leave my son and return home on Friday, June 20th, planning to return on the 30th to stay with him through his birthday.  When he had his seizure in the wee hours of the 25th, Bryan let Gem and I know that it was bad - and at that point we talked seriously of rushing back....   And we chose not to do that, telling Bryan to letTommy we would be there tomorrow, but that he wasn't to wait for us.  Before I went to bed that night, I called and sang his lullaby to him, told him how much I loved him, and told him again it was okay to go and not to wait for us.  

And he didn't.

I like to think that our lack of panic [or at least the forced calm we projected that simulated a lack of distress] helped ease his going, that he left knowing that we loved him and would cry over him, but that we weren't clutching at him, demanding that he stay longer.  

I can tell you this for free - as his mother it is the single hardest thing I have ever done in my life.