another work week begins

 Today is the 2nd day of the 30th week, the 21st day of the 7th month, the 202nd day of 2025, and:

• Global Hug Your Kids Day
• International Balloon Day
• Invite an Alien to Live with You Day - and today is Robin Williams' [AKA Mork from Ork] birthday
• Legal Drinking Age Day
• Lowest Recorded Temperature Day - in Antarctica at the Vostok Station in 1983, the temperature was -128.6°F/-89.2°C
• National Be Someone Day
• National Get Out of the Doghouse Day
• National Junk Food Day
• National Lamington Day 
• National Tug-of-War Tournament Day
• No Pet Store Puppies Day
• Take a Monkey to Lunch Day
• the moon is at waning crescent, 42% of full
• and Voyager 1 is ~23h 09m 16s of light travel time from Earth 

Quote of the day:

"Saying good-bye doesn't mean anything.  It's the time we spent together that maters, not how we left it."

~ Trey Parker - American actor, animator, writer, producer, director, and musician who co-created South Park

It is the anniversaries, the "first ofs" that are hard to manage when grieving and they sneak up on you.

Last week was a very bad week - not only was Tommy's birthday on Monday [he would've been 52], but Thursday was the one month anniversary of the last time I was with my son.   We hugged and said good-bye very prosaically, full of plans for me to return in about a week and stay with him for a couple weeks, working from the room.  

That isn't what happened...  Four days before I was scheduled to come back, he found the doorway.

We all knew that Tommy was dying after that last seizure.  Gem and I didn't try to rush down, didn't ask him to wait for us just to say goodbye again.  Bryan says he heard me when I called and sang his lullaby to him - even tho he was in a stupor and unresponsive, as I sang, a tear rolled down his cheek.  I told him one last time that I loved him and it was okay to go without struggling, then got off the phone and dissolved into tears.  After that he slipped into the final deep coma with agonal breathing for about five hours before peacefully [oh how we hope the painkillers were doing their job!] taking his last breath in Bryan's arms.  

The last picture of him after he was gone was taken by Bryan for me - I never saw my boy again.  When Gem and I got there the next day, the body was already claimed by the crematorium, and by that afternoon, the room was occupied by another family trying to deal with the reality of a loved one slipping away.  

One of my enduring regrets was that I didn't adhere to the usual farewell routine when Frank left for work that last morning - telling him I loved him and to be careful - at least I don't have that regret with Tommy.

And since I had already scheduled the PTO for the planned travel time, I took off a couple of days and kept very very busy.  

I thought I had made it past the danger point until this morning I saw a video of the sun rising in Ocean City with the seagulls wheeling about and I thought of Tommy waking up on the Boardwalk and I lost it. 

Fortunately I am working from home today....